Courtesy of the Onion:
Congress Debates Merits Of New Catchphrase
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At Pronk Needs You!, we have established the Elvis-based mojo scale as a way to measure observable trends, inspired by the classic hit song by Mojo Nixon and Skid Roper, "Elvis is Everywhere."
5 Elvi: Elvis on "Ed Sullivan"
4 Elvi: Movie Elvis
3 Elvi: Vegas Elvis
2 Elvi: Elvis Meets Nixon
1 Elvis: Elvis in the Army
0 Elvis: Michael J Fox Anti-Elvis
"Pronk's mojo is a benevolent, creative force that, like Wheaties, serves to bring out the greatness in those upon whom its grace is bestowed." - nctribefan
Pronk Needs You
Mojo Watch
At Pronk Needs You!, we have established the Elvis-based mojo scale as a way to measure observable trends, inspired by the classic hit song by Mojo Nixon and Skid Roper, "Elvis is Everywhere."5 Elvi: Elvis on "Ed Sullivan"
4 Elvi: Movie Elvis
3 Elvi: Vegas Elvis
2 Elvi: Elvis Meets Nixon
1 Elvis: Elvis in the Army
0 Elvis: Michael J Fox Anti-Elvis
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Glossary of Pronk Needs You Terms
- Age and Treachery - Paul Byrd
- FEDBU - Forces of Evil and Darkness in the Baseball Universe (aka, the Yankees)
- FEDBU-lite - Foreces of Evil and Darkness in the Baseball Universe Lite (aka, the Boston Red Sox. They're not quite as evil as the Yankees, but they are close.)
- He Who Shall Not Be Named - Joe Borowski
- Kenny Rogers' Deal With Satan - my unsubstantiated belief that Rogers is an untalented hack holding on primarily because he has made a deal with Satan. I can explain his success no other way.
- Senor Slow - Rafael Betancourt
- The Beaded One - Asdrubal Cabrera
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