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They're leaving today. The Yankees (aka, the Forces of Evil and Darkness in the Baseball Universe - FEDBU) will scatter today, packing their gear and traveling to various parts of the globe where they can spend their offseason counting their cash and pondering how they managed to lose in the ALDS to an allegedly inferior team.

Because, really, everybody knows that they didn't lose to a superior team. The Yankees never lose to a superior team - they just find new ways to beat themselves. Just ask Johnny Damon:

"We got beat in the four games played," Damon said. "Overall, are they the better team? I don't know." Now that's losing with class.

Nevermind that they had their "ace" going against the Indians fourth starter, and their ace left down 2-0 with the bases loaded in the second inning. Chien-Ming Wang, 19-game winner, lost two games in the series.

Nevermind that the Indians outpitched the Yankees best pitchers and outhit the Yankees best hitters in clutch situations.

Nevermind that Captain Clutch, Derek Jeter, in 17 AB, actually hit into so many double plays that he was responsible for 17 outs. He was 3/17 for the series (.176) and hit into 3 douple plays.

Nevermind that Alex Rodriguez, who will be the AL MVP, perhaps unanimously, hit .267 for the series, with 6 strikeouts in 4 games.

Nevermind that their Greatest.Pitcher.Ever (and headhunting punk extraordinaire), never made it out of the third inning in his start. It is worth noting here that Clemens made $19.5 million this year and pitched, including the playoffs, 101.1 innings, for a total cost of $192,497 per inning, or $64,165 per out.

Nevermind that the Indians payroll of $61 million for this year is less than one-third of the Yankees payroll.

Nevermind that the Indians had two players (Lofton, Nixon) on their postseason roster with World Series experiece and three others (Sabathia, Borowski, Byrd) with postseason experience, while the Yankees have been in the postseason each of the past 13 years.

Nevermind that everyone knows that the Indians couldn't possibly win anything with Joe Knows Closing taking the hill in the 9th inning of a close game, especially after he blew a game in Yankees Stadium in early April, 6 months ago.

The Yankees and their fans will always be convinced that the better team did not win and that the Yankees beat themselves instead of losing to a superior team. That's okay. That is what makes them Yankees and Yankee fans.

The Indians, on the other hand, will also be leaving. They're going to Boston to start the American League Championship Series.

And all the Yankees have to show for their season is a boatload of money, a manager that may be fired because he could not beat a team with a payroll 1/3 of his team's -- despite taking his team into postseason for a 13th straight year, a pitching staff that is old and in disarray, the possible loss of the best hitter in baseball, and the decision on whether to exercise expensive options on overpaid players. The Bronx Zoo, indeed.

Start spreading the news. They're leaving today.

The Trot Giveth, and the Trot Taketh Away

Game 3 of the Indians-Forces of Evil and Darkness in the Baseball Universe (FEDBU) series is in the books, and the Indians now lead their ALDS series 2 games to 1 after last night's 8-4 FEDBU victory.

Roger Clemens, headhunting punk and future Hall of Famer in the event he ever stays retired, looked like a 45-year-old guy with a bad hammy. Roger was gone two batters into the third inning, with what most likely will be his last major league pitch striking out Victor Martinez. Clemens left on the hook for a 2-0 deficit, including a solo home run to surprise starter Trot Nixon, which was expanded to 3-0 when Jhonny Peralta dhoubled in Travis Hafner, who walked off Clemens to lead off the inning. That was the last really good thing to happen for the Tribe. Philip Hughes relieved Clemens, and after giving up the double to Peralta, pitched 3.2 innings of scoreless relief and kept the FEDBU in the game long enough to get to Westbrook.

Jake Westbrook looked like Jake Westbrook. He got a lot of ground balls, some of which went through and some of which ended up starting double plays. He was leading 3-1 when the roof caved in in the 5th. Peralta misplayed a grounder to the hole into an infield single by A-Rod. Westbrook, who suddenly was not being given the low strike by home plate umpire Ron Kulpa, elevated sinkers to Matsui, Cano and Cabrera, which led to a run scoring and two men on for Johnny Damon. He then elevated a sinker to Damon, who deposited it in the right field stands to give the FEDBU a 5-3 lead.

The FEDBU expanded the lead to 8-3 the following inning off Westbrook and Aaron Fultz, helped out by Trot Nixon allowing a Robinson Cano bases loaded single to skip beneath his glove, clearing the bases. Since the game was pretty much out of reach anyway, Trot was allowed to bat in the 8th inning, and got an RBI double to the gap in left to drive in the Indians last run off uber-phenom Joba "Walks on Water" Chamberlain. Chamberlain seemed human in the 8th, as the Indians managed to get 3 straight hits.

Jensen Lewis struck out the side in the 7th. Joe Knows Closing pitched a scoreless 8th to get some work in and Mariano Rivera slammed the door on the Tribe in the 9th.

So, we now go to Game 4 tonight. The FEDBU will start Wang on 3 days rest, while the Indians will go with Paul Byrd. Both pitchers will have a short leash, and the FEDBU have shot most of their better bullpen bullets by using Hughes and Chamberlain for extended appearances in Game 3 while Betancourt and Perez stayed on the Indians' bench. If Wang performs poorly, Mike Mussina will be available for long relief. Aaron Laffey, a left-handed sinkerballer, will likely be the Indians long guy out if Byrd runs into trouble.

So why did Wedgie start the Trotster? He has an outstanding batting record against Clemens, and his intuition paid off initially. However, Wedge's failure to lift Trot for defensice purposes once Clemens left the game probably cost the team. If Gutierrez is in right field, the FEDBU likely score only one run on Cano's single, and the Indians turn two on Cabrera's ensuing grounder to third. It's still 6-3, but the late innings become much more interesting, with the Tribe bringing the potential go ahead run to the plate in the 8th off Joba "I am the Walrus" Chamberlain.

The good news is that the Indians are still up 2-1, and the FEDBU have to win 2 games while the Indians have to win 1. Is a FEDBU comeback possible? Of course - nearly anything is possible. Is it probable? The odds say no.

Travis Hafner is Lord of the Flies

A pest in baseball is typically one of those annoying players like David Eckstein who seems to bother the opposition. Yesterday, the pests were really pests - midges swarming Jacobs Field in the 8th inning. Forces of Evil and Darkness in the Baseball Universe (FEDBU) uber-phenom Joba Chamberlain got rattled and uncorked two wild pitches - the first of which put the tying run in scoring position, and the second of which scored the tying run from third- and the Indians came from behind to beat the FEDBU 2-1 in 11 innings.

The Indians had many opportunities to put the Yankees away - they were ultimately 2 for 18 with runners in scoring position, but could not do wo until the 11th inning, when Pronk (remember him?) laced a bases-loaded full-count two-out single to right centerfield to score Kenny Lofton with the winning run. They left 14 runners on base. The other hit with RISP was a single by Kenny Lofton in the second, on which Jhonny Peralta was thrown out trying to score from second. It is worth noting that the stas had aligned earlier in the inning to allow Peralta (Slowest.Shortstop.Ever) to steal second off Andy (Best.Balk.Move.That.Never.Gets.Called.Ever) Pettite, and that to expect him to score on a single to shallow center was probably pressing their luck a bit too far. Pettite also threw out Lofton trying to steal third base to end the fifth inning.

It is worth noting that although the FEDBU appeared noticeably disconcerted by the midges, the Indians did not. Fausto Carmona appeared completely oblivious to the midges, and he was spectactular, going 9 complete innings, giving up only 3 hits, walking 2 and striking out 5. Unfortunately, 1 of those hits was a home run by Melky Cabrera (yeah, go figure). He got 18 ground ball outs. His last pitch struck out Alex Rodriguez with the potential winning run on second base. Rafael Perez shut down the FEDBU in the 9th and 10th.

Other heroes for the Tribe include Kenny Lofton, who went 2 for 3 with 2 walks and scored the winning run, and Grady Sizemore, who scored the tying run, tripled, and beat out a high throw to first base after striking out in the 10th to help make Mariano Rivera sweat. Rivera required 38 pitches to make it through two innings of relief after the Indians loaded the bases off of him in the 10th. As a result, the FEDBU were forced to bring in Luis Vizcaino in the 11th, who gave up the winning run.

A few words about Thursday's game while we're here.

Batting practice, baby! 12-3 Tribe. With both pitchers being squeezed by a small strike zone, a more mature Sabathia was able to cope with it, while Chien-Ming Wang was not. After a tired Sabathia worked out of a bases loaded with one out situation in the fifth inning by blowing fastballs by Jorge Posada and getting Hideki Matsui to pop out in what was then a one-run game, a tired Wang allowed a two-run shot to Victor Martinez to make the game 6-3. Then the FEDBU bullpen came in and pitched batting practice, while Perez, Lewis and Betancourt shut the FEDBU down.

So, now the series goes to the Big Apple with the Indians up 2-nil. Sunday's game is Westbrook vs. Clemens, whom the FEDBU have been saving for the playoffs. We'll see if Clemens is still worth $4.5 million per month after not pitching since September 16.

FEDBU fans will whine about how the game should have been stopped because of the midges. Let them. Both teams had to play through the bugs and umpire crew chief Bruce Froemming said after the game that he had no intention of calling the game. Mickey Mantle would have played through the bugs. Joe DiMaggio would have played through the bugs. Yogi Berra would have played through the bugs. Fausto Carmona wasn't bothered by the bugs at all. Man up, FEDBU fans. If you would have played better during the season, you would have won your division and this game would have been in your house. Get over yourselves.