Theories abound. Among the possible explanations:
- Dr. Evil has stolen his mojo, and Austin Powers is busy right now.
- Standing in as a stunt double for Shrek in Shrek 3 has zapped his energy.
- The Cleveland Curse (you know what we're talking about, Cleveland fans).
- Back troubles from carrying this team for so long.
- The other teams have been strategically deploying Kryptonite.
Regardless, right now, Cleveland fans, Pronk Needs You!
Right about now, you're probably asking yourself, "What can I do to help Pronk?" Well, here are some things that you can do to help Pronk:
- Find His Mojo! His mojo might be anywhere. It might be at your office. It might be at your school. It might be in your back yard. It's out there, somewhere, and it is incumbent on you to help Pronk find it. If it's out there, TribeNation can find it!
- Send Pronk your positive energy. Think nothing but good thoughts about Pronk - send him good vibes. Light candles. Do relaxation exercises - Pronk will feed off your sense of inner calm and it will manifest in productive at bats. If you are happy and relaxed, Pronk is happy and relaxed.
- The best way that you can help is by going to the games. Becauase, believe me, Pronk knows when you're there. He knows if you're slacking off in your game attendance. Pronk can sense these things. He is Pronk, for crying out loud.
At Pronk Needs You!, we have established the Elvis-based mojo scale as a way to measure observable trends, inspired by the classic hit song by Mojo Nixon and Skid Roper, "Elvis is Everywhere."
No comments:
Post a Comment