So Long, FEDBU Stadium.

The Tribe made their last regular season trip to FEDBU Stadium a memorable one, winning a three-game series (and the season series) against the FEDBU. Among the memorable events:

• A come-from-behind victory against the overhyped Joba Chamberlain capped by a three-run home run by David Dellucci, after which young Joba was seen moping dramatically with a towel over his head in the FEDBU dugout. Apparently, there was a ravenous bugblatter beast of Traal in the dugout that Joba needed to hide from and Joba was just being a hoopy frood who always knows where his towel is. These were the first runs given up by the young future HOF'er in FEDBU Stadium in his entire HOF career in the building - 15 innings worth.
• In a much overhyped pitching "battle of the unbeatens", Cliff Lee's Beta Unit shut out the FEDBU and Chien-Ming Wang. The real Cliff Lee remains off-planet, defending the frontier against Xur and the Ko-Dan Armada.
• Andy Marte played in back to back games for the first time this season, starting the first two games of the series and getting his second hit of the season, scoring a run and generally playing nifty defense. The Indians won both games. The Indians are now 6-2 in games in which Andy Marte plays. Coincidence? However, with the bases loaded in the second game and 1 out, with the Tribe ahead 3-0, Wedge pinch-hit Pronk for Marte. Pronk proceeded to hit a double play dribbler that ended the threat. I guess I see both sides of this - Wedge was making the standard lefty-righty late game substitution. By most standards, this was the kind of typical baseball move that managers make all the time. However, it was just another in a continuing series of examples dating back to Marte's September callup in 2006 and proceeding through the numerous bunt orders this season that indicates that management has no cofidence that Marte can produce in clutch situations. We don't know whether he can because he's been given the chance so few times.
• The Indians version of Age and Treachery lost to the FEDBU version (Mike Mussina) in the last game of the series, primarily by not keeping the ball in the ballpark. Jason Giambi, whose career has declined to the point where he can pretty much only hit soft-tossers, hit a home run, as did Johnny Damon, Robinson Cano and Wilson Betemit. Pretty much the complete list of struggling FEDBU hitters were able to get well against Age and Treachery.
• During game 3 of this series, future HOFer Joba Chamberlain came out to work the 8th with the FEDBU ahead 6-3. He closed the inning by striking out David Dellucci and celebrating as if he'd just won the seventh game of the World Series. When asked about it later, Chamberlain said "That's who I am. Everybody knows that." Because his 38.1 regular season major league innings have made him known to the great American baseball public, who expect him to roll that way. When asked, David Dellucci had this to say: "It is what it is," he said. "If he wants to yell and scream after a strikeout, I guess that's what gets him going. It's May baseball. The home run was in a much bigger situation. I didn't dance and scream. If a hitter did something like that, it would be bush. It's kind of interesting how a pitcher gets away with it." I like David Dellucci more and more every day.
• The Indians now have a 4-6-2 record in series' this year and are 16-18 on the season. Amazingly, this is only 1.5 games back of the division leading Minnesota Twins. (I never thought I'd be typing the phrase "division leading Minnesota Twins" in May.) They start a 7-game homestand tonight against the Blue Jays.
• J-Mike is now a teammate of J-Bay. The Tribe traded him to the Pirates for a PTBNL. By most accounts, it looks like the Tribe is eating most of J-Mike's salary, so they may get a decent prospect back in this trade.

Mojo Watch

Cliff Lee: Full Elvis for Clifton.

David Dellucci: Elvisness for being clutch and for being old school.

Andy Marte: I'm giving Marte some Elvis for playing two in a row and looking like a major league third baseman in the process.

Fausto Carmona: His ERA is low. His WHIP is high. He's killing me in my fantasy leagues with his insane walk rate. Imagine how well he could be pitching if he could find the plate consistently.

Pronk: Right now, Pronk is Michael J. Fox -he's got no Elvis. His mojo is completely AWOL. I'm thinking that it's time for the Hello Kitty armband.

Luckiness

There's an old maxim that says, "It's better to be lucky than good." That's okay as far as it goes, but it hardly goes far enough. It is best, of course, to be good AND lucky. It is worst to be bad and unluky. The FEDBU, as they pretty much have been throughout their storied history, were lucky last night and the Indians were mostly bad and thoroughly unlucky.

The Tribe dropped a 5-2 decision to the FEDBU, despite a fine pitching performance from Aaron Laffey, because of one bad inning where the FEDBU scored 4 runs while hitting one ball out of the infield. It's particularly annoying to have opponents score runs on crappy, lucky, seeing-eye infield hits, primarily because it means that your pitcher is doing his job - he's pitching so well that opponents can't get good wood on the ball. That being said, the Tribe really only have themselves to blame for not teeing off on the husk of Mike Mussina. They had the chance to have a big inning to blow the game wide open and only got two runs. It wasn't enough.

Oh yeah - Laffey had a no-hitter going before surrendering the first two garbage infield hits.

This represents the second straight game where the offense failed to do anything. The previous day they wasted a gem of a game by CC Sabathia and ended up totally shut down by Chien-Ming Wang and losing 1-0 on a home run by Melky Cabrera. Yeah, that's right, Melky Cabrera. Let that rattle around your innards for awhile and then go get some Zantac.

So much for that 5-game winning streak. The total offensive collapse of the last two games leaves the Tribe at 12-14, with Seattle coming to town. The good news is that it might give Shapiro some face time with his favorite trade patsy, Bill Bavasi.

Mojo Watch:
Indians Pitching:

Indians Hitting:

Andy Marte Watch:

I'm beginning to wonder if Andy Marte is really some sort of advanced three-dimensional hologram that the Indians are testing for scientific purposes. This might explain their reluctance to put him in games.

Back to .500

I know it's been a few days, but I have been extremely busy at work, and then at home in the evening preparing to go to Milwaukee for a few days to visit family and friends.

It's early Sunday morning, and my "niece" Foxy, a 12-week old calico kitten belonging to my brother- and sister-in-law is romping around their living room.

I saw most of the Kansas City series, except the end of the third game, which was too darn late. Playing Kansas City seemed to be good for what was ailing the Tribe. CC looked like CC again. The balls were bouncing in play instead of being hit right at someone or being just foul.

Cliff Lee's Beta Unit continues to perform unbelieveably well while Cliff is on Rylos 4 defending the frontier against Xur and the Ko-Dan Armada, shutting out the Royals on Saturday night.

And now they've taken the first two in the FEDBU series to guarantee no worse than a split. Jeremy Sowers pitched well and the Indians gritted out a comeback yesterday. Age and Treachery held the FEDBU down far enough that the Tribe could ride Jhonny's clutch hitting on Friday night.

So today it's a battle of aces - Wang v. Sabathia. Whuch CC shows up - Good CC or Bad CC? I think good CC is back, folks.

Mojo Watch:

Everyone: 5 wins in a row including two over the FEDBU? Plenty of Elvis to go around.

Andy Marte Watch:
Andy got into the last game of the KC series, were he went 0 for 2 with another sacrifice bunt. He saw mop up duty in the first game of the KC series , the 15-1 laugher. Other than that, he's seen a lot of this:

Cursing the Yankees?

If one really wanted to curse the Yankees, why wouldn't one bury a Cubs jersey?

Start Spreading the News...

They're leaving today. The Yankees (aka, the Forces of Evil and Darkness in the Baseball Universe - FEDBU) will scatter today, packing their gear and traveling to various parts of the globe where they can spend their offseason counting their cash and pondering how they managed to lose in the ALDS to an allegedly inferior team.

Because, really, everybody knows that they didn't lose to a superior team. The Yankees never lose to a superior team - they just find new ways to beat themselves. Just ask Johnny Damon:

"We got beat in the four games played," Damon said. "Overall, are they the better team? I don't know." Now that's losing with class.

Nevermind that they had their "ace" going against the Indians fourth starter, and their ace left down 2-0 with the bases loaded in the second inning. Chien-Ming Wang, 19-game winner, lost two games in the series.

Nevermind that the Indians outpitched the Yankees best pitchers and outhit the Yankees best hitters in clutch situations.

Nevermind that Captain Clutch, Derek Jeter, in 17 AB, actually hit into so many double plays that he was responsible for 17 outs. He was 3/17 for the series (.176) and hit into 3 douple plays.

Nevermind that Alex Rodriguez, who will be the AL MVP, perhaps unanimously, hit .267 for the series, with 6 strikeouts in 4 games.

Nevermind that their Greatest.Pitcher.Ever (and headhunting punk extraordinaire), never made it out of the third inning in his start. It is worth noting here that Clemens made $19.5 million this year and pitched, including the playoffs, 101.1 innings, for a total cost of $192,497 per inning, or $64,165 per out.

Nevermind that the Indians payroll of $61 million for this year is less than one-third of the Yankees payroll.

Nevermind that the Indians had two players (Lofton, Nixon) on their postseason roster with World Series experiece and three others (Sabathia, Borowski, Byrd) with postseason experience, while the Yankees have been in the postseason each of the past 13 years.

Nevermind that everyone knows that the Indians couldn't possibly win anything with Joe Knows Closing taking the hill in the 9th inning of a close game, especially after he blew a game in Yankees Stadium in early April, 6 months ago.

The Yankees and their fans will always be convinced that the better team did not win and that the Yankees beat themselves instead of losing to a superior team. That's okay. That is what makes them Yankees and Yankee fans.

The Indians, on the other hand, will also be leaving. They're going to Boston to start the American League Championship Series.

And all the Yankees have to show for their season is a boatload of money, a manager that may be fired because he could not beat a team with a payroll 1/3 of his team's -- despite taking his team into postseason for a 13th straight year, a pitching staff that is old and in disarray, the possible loss of the best hitter in baseball, and the decision on whether to exercise expensive options on overpaid players. The Bronx Zoo, indeed.

Start spreading the news. They're leaving today.

The Trot Giveth, and the Trot Taketh Away

Game 3 of the Indians-Forces of Evil and Darkness in the Baseball Universe (FEDBU) series is in the books, and the Indians now lead their ALDS series 2 games to 1 after last night's 8-4 FEDBU victory.

Roger Clemens, headhunting punk and future Hall of Famer in the event he ever stays retired, looked like a 45-year-old guy with a bad hammy. Roger was gone two batters into the third inning, with what most likely will be his last major league pitch striking out Victor Martinez. Clemens left on the hook for a 2-0 deficit, including a solo home run to surprise starter Trot Nixon, which was expanded to 3-0 when Jhonny Peralta dhoubled in Travis Hafner, who walked off Clemens to lead off the inning. That was the last really good thing to happen for the Tribe. Philip Hughes relieved Clemens, and after giving up the double to Peralta, pitched 3.2 innings of scoreless relief and kept the FEDBU in the game long enough to get to Westbrook.

Jake Westbrook looked like Jake Westbrook. He got a lot of ground balls, some of which went through and some of which ended up starting double plays. He was leading 3-1 when the roof caved in in the 5th. Peralta misplayed a grounder to the hole into an infield single by A-Rod. Westbrook, who suddenly was not being given the low strike by home plate umpire Ron Kulpa, elevated sinkers to Matsui, Cano and Cabrera, which led to a run scoring and two men on for Johnny Damon. He then elevated a sinker to Damon, who deposited it in the right field stands to give the FEDBU a 5-3 lead.

The FEDBU expanded the lead to 8-3 the following inning off Westbrook and Aaron Fultz, helped out by Trot Nixon allowing a Robinson Cano bases loaded single to skip beneath his glove, clearing the bases. Since the game was pretty much out of reach anyway, Trot was allowed to bat in the 8th inning, and got an RBI double to the gap in left to drive in the Indians last run off uber-phenom Joba "Walks on Water" Chamberlain. Chamberlain seemed human in the 8th, as the Indians managed to get 3 straight hits.

Jensen Lewis struck out the side in the 7th. Joe Knows Closing pitched a scoreless 8th to get some work in and Mariano Rivera slammed the door on the Tribe in the 9th.

So, we now go to Game 4 tonight. The FEDBU will start Wang on 3 days rest, while the Indians will go with Paul Byrd. Both pitchers will have a short leash, and the FEDBU have shot most of their better bullpen bullets by using Hughes and Chamberlain for extended appearances in Game 3 while Betancourt and Perez stayed on the Indians' bench. If Wang performs poorly, Mike Mussina will be available for long relief. Aaron Laffey, a left-handed sinkerballer, will likely be the Indians long guy out if Byrd runs into trouble.

So why did Wedgie start the Trotster? He has an outstanding batting record against Clemens, and his intuition paid off initially. However, Wedge's failure to lift Trot for defensice purposes once Clemens left the game probably cost the team. If Gutierrez is in right field, the FEDBU likely score only one run on Cano's single, and the Indians turn two on Cabrera's ensuing grounder to third. It's still 6-3, but the late innings become much more interesting, with the Tribe bringing the potential go ahead run to the plate in the 8th off Joba "I am the Walrus" Chamberlain.

The good news is that the Indians are still up 2-1, and the FEDBU have to win 2 games while the Indians have to win 1. Is a FEDBU comeback possible? Of course - nearly anything is possible. Is it probable? The odds say no.

Travis Hafner is Lord of the Flies

A pest in baseball is typically one of those annoying players like David Eckstein who seems to bother the opposition. Yesterday, the pests were really pests - midges swarming Jacobs Field in the 8th inning. Forces of Evil and Darkness in the Baseball Universe (FEDBU) uber-phenom Joba Chamberlain got rattled and uncorked two wild pitches - the first of which put the tying run in scoring position, and the second of which scored the tying run from third- and the Indians came from behind to beat the FEDBU 2-1 in 11 innings.

The Indians had many opportunities to put the Yankees away - they were ultimately 2 for 18 with runners in scoring position, but could not do wo until the 11th inning, when Pronk (remember him?) laced a bases-loaded full-count two-out single to right centerfield to score Kenny Lofton with the winning run. They left 14 runners on base. The other hit with RISP was a single by Kenny Lofton in the second, on which Jhonny Peralta was thrown out trying to score from second. It is worth noting that the stas had aligned earlier in the inning to allow Peralta (Slowest.Shortstop.Ever) to steal second off Andy (Best.Balk.Move.That.Never.Gets.Called.Ever) Pettite, and that to expect him to score on a single to shallow center was probably pressing their luck a bit too far. Pettite also threw out Lofton trying to steal third base to end the fifth inning.

It is worth noting that although the FEDBU appeared noticeably disconcerted by the midges, the Indians did not. Fausto Carmona appeared completely oblivious to the midges, and he was spectactular, going 9 complete innings, giving up only 3 hits, walking 2 and striking out 5. Unfortunately, 1 of those hits was a home run by Melky Cabrera (yeah, go figure). He got 18 ground ball outs. His last pitch struck out Alex Rodriguez with the potential winning run on second base. Rafael Perez shut down the FEDBU in the 9th and 10th.

Other heroes for the Tribe include Kenny Lofton, who went 2 for 3 with 2 walks and scored the winning run, and Grady Sizemore, who scored the tying run, tripled, and beat out a high throw to first base after striking out in the 10th to help make Mariano Rivera sweat. Rivera required 38 pitches to make it through two innings of relief after the Indians loaded the bases off of him in the 10th. As a result, the FEDBU were forced to bring in Luis Vizcaino in the 11th, who gave up the winning run.

A few words about Thursday's game while we're here.

Batting practice, baby! 12-3 Tribe. With both pitchers being squeezed by a small strike zone, a more mature Sabathia was able to cope with it, while Chien-Ming Wang was not. After a tired Sabathia worked out of a bases loaded with one out situation in the fifth inning by blowing fastballs by Jorge Posada and getting Hideki Matsui to pop out in what was then a one-run game, a tired Wang allowed a two-run shot to Victor Martinez to make the game 6-3. Then the FEDBU bullpen came in and pitched batting practice, while Perez, Lewis and Betancourt shut the FEDBU down.

So, now the series goes to the Big Apple with the Indians up 2-nil. Sunday's game is Westbrook vs. Clemens, whom the FEDBU have been saving for the playoffs. We'll see if Clemens is still worth $4.5 million per month after not pitching since September 16.

FEDBU fans will whine about how the game should have been stopped because of the midges. Let them. Both teams had to play through the bugs and umpire crew chief Bruce Froemming said after the game that he had no intention of calling the game. Mickey Mantle would have played through the bugs. Joe DiMaggio would have played through the bugs. Yogi Berra would have played through the bugs. Fausto Carmona wasn't bothered by the bugs at all. Man up, FEDBU fans. If you would have played better during the season, you would have won your division and this game would have been in your house. Get over yourselves.